Tears.

Tears, Tears of sorrow. All i see are tears. There are some laughter too, which i despise utterly. A funeral with outsiders laughing around pisses me off. Woke up early in the morning and went to my grandma's house to get ready, and walked to my great-grandma's house. There were prayers... The priest came and did the blessings.. And we, the offsprings have our duties as well. Showering holy water and place flowers upon Her. Although it is a direct family line, i don't really feel anything. I tried deep and hard to cry, but i just can't... Maybe its just because we're four generations apart... I'm so gonna miss her cooking next NewYear... I felt really sad when i saw my great-grandpa came out from his room to see his wife... My grandmother and her siblings dropped tears... Weeped... Sigh...

Then the coffin was put on a van. We walked behind it till we reach the line of buses at my grandma's house. The weather was hot, i can't deny. And we forgot our umbrellas =( At least one thing i witness is the traffic jam. No one could do a thing about it, this is inevitable. There were a few traffic polices blocking the road, to let us pass 1st =) Priority one huh...

Finally approached our final destination - St. Joseph Cathedral. My cousins and I were the choir group. And my grandparents downline are the only ones that have stronger Christianity faith than the rest, that is - us. We sang choir hyms, prayers, and we were the only ones that could receive Holy Communion. To tell you the truth i was shocked about this fact. Didnt know the remaining 50+ relatives was so..... oblivious?

The prayers then ended at around noon, and my great-grandma was to be 'buried' at the prime burial area beside the cathedral. Stood under the sun for nearly half and hour. Then they sealed the burial spot after we threw flowers inside... The badges we stuck on our sleeves was to be burnt. There were lots of ~pantang~ too.. Like no looking back after leaving.. Keep our shadows out of the coffin range during covering the coffin etc... And with those red strings and cleansing evil leaves.. I was confused by disarray, since this was the first time i encountered and experienced this, in my life.

I have no complains. I have no tears to shed. I only have my pure and sincere heart, for a minute prayer... to devote. Amen.